The tricky part is not getting sand in any orifices. Or is the plural orifi? Orifi don't, we'll both be unhappy...
Probably, but last night was a special kind of drunk. It was a "let's see how drunk I can get without killing myself" drunk.
he couldn't find his key, so we just had sex on his parent's porch while we waited for his mom to get home.
Listen, i'm watching playoff hockey and eating waffles. i just don't have time for your drama today.
Its like the unofficial aniversary of the loss of her virginity. And I will be giving tours of the spot they did it in and showing how I'm serious when I say the grass doesn't grow there anymore.
by "whatever happens, happens" i meant "we are totally hooking up again on tuesday." i thought that was obvious.
At this point I will cuddle anything to prevent from dying alone
Just used my front-facing camera to check my pupils. Technology!
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
Might be using my graduation money to pay for an abortion.
Nothing says "Hello, Adulthood!" quite like receiving a dick photo at 11AM from a guy you haven't heard from since fifth grade.
as much as I don't like snorting drugs, I would totally be fine with someone doing a line off my ass. that's just a whole new up
JUST BECAUSE I LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED DOESNT MEAN IM GOING TO LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED AT WORK
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
Just saw a hotel with a bunch of mattresses in the parking lot. Made me think of you.
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