I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
Police were just in my backyard to recover a loaded .38. What the fuck?????
Are you seriously drinking already? It's 11AM. Still morning.
I'm going by McDonald's time. And since they stop serving breakfast at 10:30 and start serving lunch, it is now afternoon.
his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this.
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
she refused to get out of the dog cage till we sang "be our guest" to her.
Wheres my "thanks for using birth control effectively and not contributing to the downfall of society" card.
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
As part of the off-hours team building exercises, I had my new coworkers figure out to push me back to the hotel from the nearby bars in a shopping cart every night for a week.
Haha he was not a poor little guy. If he'd talked to me or something I might feel bad. But since I saw him groping other girls as well as myself there's no sympathy coming from me
He's just picking out the right girl. I do the same thing with fruit. Grope them, squeeze them, smell them. I have to know I'm getting quality fruit.
That's like.....u just dangled a sex carrot in front of me then took it away!
It's cosmic balancing. My vagina is an instrument of karmic retribution.
honestly my period and I are just as surprised to see each other every month
Guess who just hooked up with a guy who was wearing a shirt from his mom's "dress up closet"?!
I'm sitting here with a band aid on my labia, this is a first
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