She said her name was "party"
You wouldn't stop asking the hibachi cook if his knife was a hattori hanzo
What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
These old people don't even realize they're giving me weed money for shoveling snow.
I knew I was high when I wanted to write a poem about how great it felt to wash my face
Dave, I love you but you're barking up the wrong lesbian. You sir are the competition. You don't threesome with competition.
What would you do if your asshole suddenly made the sound of a sheep duck baa/quacking the words kill me
You are so incredibly one of a kind, it's astounding
Her ass is the reason I still believe in a higher power
She called and said her prescription was refilled. I guess we are dating again.
About to go make a man out of a 24 year old boy
As I shove my ninth taquito of the day into my mouth...
Picking our battles
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
Oh yeah, nothing says welcome home like walking in on your parents having sex on your bed while the dog is watching, they told me to wait until they were done...
Right before he dumped me... he got a really ugly pair of pants. They were twill pants. A pinkish color. When I'm sad... I picture him in them. It makes me smile.
That's nice of you to be concerned, but I'm pretty confident I'll marry someone 30 years older than me, ride out being the trophy wife for 10 or 15 years, then live large!
Randomize
