So I just did the walk of shame at dunkin... A lady told me me I was really dressed up and I told her I was going to a luncheon.
the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
I just found out that the liquid capacity of my breasts is 700ml each. I should not be left alone at home when drunk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I started singing the national anthem on a train in London. Happy 4th of July assholes
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
Drake has all the answers
So is the trick to long distance communication to be drunk during phone conversations?
So my ex vomited in front of my door and passed out there
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just for the record, I did not have sex in your bed. Happy 4th of July.
If you need me I'll be getting drunk in a chewbacca onsie like a real adult.
I cannot, in good conscience, let you talk to a guy who wears Chaps and a knit beanie
I know we're not on great terms here, but I need to know if you're still available for sexual activity...cause if not I need to get going on a work-out plan.
I got outsmarted by a door tonight. Twice.
You told me you could hear my heartbeat through my penis but your methods were unethical.
Sixty five beats a minute. I stand by that.
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