you turned your livingroom into a bong?
I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
You probably havent been upstairs if you think that the microwave missing its door is bad
It's not every day you get to see a girl fuck herself with a pickle.
He just asked if I would make his black snake moan. Dating basketball players is not worth the glory
Questioning the dried heart shaped nutella on my boobs. Valentines day has begun.
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
he tried to convince me he was a seal.. sound effects included. and then asked me to 'be his lady seal'.
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
All three of us got laid last night. This is what is commonly referred to as the Trifuckta.
Got home. All the lights were on. All the doors were unlocked. My room was covered in beads, there's puke in the sink and of course our toilet is still broke. I'd say it was a decent Mardi Gras
I don't remember anything after falling in the ditch, but I now have confirmation that my rib is broken. Never drinking again.
It was a successful conference for my sales and my sex life. Those are probably related
Randomize
