another moral hangover. fuck.
quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
so i decided to listen to you and went ahead and slept with him. you owe me 3 minutes
you're the best thing to happen to me. closely followed by learning to ejaculate, and drugs.
He just said "fuck you" to the bowl he's eating things out of
There is a contact in my phone named "Bar Mcntysu." this is why we need a third person to go out with us.
She was eating whipped cream out of a plunger at 3 am in the morning. Yet somehow she still had an elegance about her.
take 2 Ambien then drink a Red Bull and watch Alice in Wonderland. Trust me.
I have a surprise for you
Is it drugs? I want drugs. Or a puppy!
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
I met her daughter,who I went to high school with on my way out this morning. She didn't seem to surprised. I love older women.
How would your parents feel if we installed a sex swing?
it was like fucking a Mumford & Sons song
He was only in jail for 4 hours before he was someone's prison wife
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
Randomize
