and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
the bulge in his pants is not junk. its hair. trust.
Sometimes when i'm at a cross roads in life, i think about what i would want my lifetime movie to show what i did
stayed up until 6am doing my presentation on buddhist art and the practice of chanting. took shots. did drugs. the powerpoint now includes a sesame street style game (with chicken/puppy clip art), an xzibit music video (and quotes about section eight and eating steaks), and a reference to a german metal band (universe). this is going to be the best presentation ever
Postcard from jail please. Reserving a spot on my fridge.
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
I knew us throwing ourselves at him back in the day would pay off. I'm gonna b a divorcees rebound. Score!
I can't relate, I like my boobs roaming free like a wild animal, and I occasionally let them devour small children
Sorry about waking up naked in your bed this morning.
Ugh a 13 year old just asked me why people drink, I had to explain it without making it sound good. I need a drink.
Tomorrow is my favorite texting day of the year... It's where I send every guy I've had sex with this past year a text saying "happy not a Father's Day" and we laugh and I get so much dick it's wonderful.
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
I worry about your feelings an awful lot for somebody who gets off on making you cry
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
Here’s how sick I am. I’m not hungry. I don’t want coffee. And I don’t want dick. So, you know it’s bad.
Randomize
