Don't you send me to vm
So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
you were going around the whole club telling people to smell ur purse
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
I need to hang out with girls who make more mistakes
The look I see on guys faces when they realize my nipples are pierced remind me of when my mom used to come home from the grocery store and surprise me with poptarts.
The vodka told me to go iceskating on my frozen pool. I may have attempted.
I need someone to meet me at the end of the road and throw captain morgan at my face like they do with water at marathons
In preparation of Wine in the Woods next weekend, today we're hosting Straight Vodka in the Bathtub
I was talking about you wanting my dick, but that works too
Prerry sure I narrowly avoided being tazed by a swat cop last night... But on the up side, we found my purse.
I know it was your bday but bringing a airhorn and blowing it yelling "buy me a fucking shot" in the bartenders face was a little uncalled for
Who are you, and why are you in my phone as Elf on the Shelf
A bitchslap is in order.
It's okay to admit that you're into redheads.
Randomize
