walking home from your place the other day I saw a man with a ponytail sitting on some church steps petting a plant
he should get drunk with us
Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
I'll probably hate you when I'm sober
i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
woke up this morning in the hall outside of my parents room with a sign taped to myself that said "im sorry"...
My roommate threw his shoe through our window and I came out of my blackout kicking holes in my wall. Pretty sure Edward 80 Hands won't be happening anymore.
Just wanna let u know that we are almost on the pity blow job level of our friendship.
i think i broke my dog last night...fuck
I just got a get of my turf look from a hooker. Apparently, Ninja Turtles T-shirt+Jeans+Flip-Flops=Hooker Gear. Woot.
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
Not only did I get the promotion, but last night after sex he took me outside and let me hold it for him while he peed in the snow. I made a heart. This week is going amazing
My ex gave me head because she said she didn't enough when we were dating... Best ex ever? I think yes.
I have mystery bruises on my right knee, right arm, under my chin, and on my forehead. What the fuck happened last night??
Our livers get a hall pass for 2020, right?
Randomize
