i just bought a vibrator and the cashier says "have fun with that." i didnt realise what he said so i responded "you too." and then he gave me his number...
is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
debating whether or not to save the package from my first plan b pill. it would be a nice addition to any baby book.
I just had to give myself a pep talk to stop lying on my floor. Literally too hung over to function
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I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
Just high watching the holiday fireplace channel. My space heater lends authenticity to the fire experience. Come over.
It was like we had a conversation with our eyes.
Was it a good conversation?
It was an awkward, sexual conversation.
Just text him and be like do you want this pussy or not. You have three seconds to respond.
And at the semi-adult age of 25 I have shit my pants. Not even drunk, just really late to work. Is this real life?
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i just woke up to her giving me a toothy BJ so I had to break into your bedroom and steal about 4 condoms. Sorry for waking you. :(
you gave me money for the cab and then walked home..
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
She said she hasn't cheated on me in 7 and a half days and she'd like praise for that.
We have massive handle of kettle and a rack of hi life
That's the happiest ive ever been at 7:48 am....
Yes. With one-hundred percent positivity I can say yes, I do not want you covered in waffles and syrup when I come home.
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