i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
Is my tampon string too long for this dress?
I realized tonight the smell of my dirty pads remind me of my grandfather.
my brother is so whacked out on percocet from hurting his legs that he started crying because his belly button was so cute
You tried telling the RA that girl you brought home was your mom...
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
She asked me to go inside, make myself a drink and slip into something a little more naked.
i spent my morning giving relationship advice to the kid i had sex with on a kitchen table this weekend
why can't I meet attractive men at the places I like to hang out? like books a million. or the liquor store.
The compounded multi day delayed hangover hit me hard today, with a vengeance normally reserved for large objects that go in my ass. I don't feel good.
When she introduced her friend to me I shook his hand and told him not to leave his ugly vest at my apartment in the morning. He took it off and bought me a shot.
You know your night is done when the police confiscate your bra at high school basketball game
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
I just made mac at 3:10 am... My life is falling apart...
My drug dealer was just on ESPN..
Randomize
