if my vagina gave out awards, he should be preparing acceptance speaches for the oscar, the heisman and the nobel peace prize.
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
Nah I'm perfectly content solely banging the married bartender once a week.
That's practically a relationship for you
She just came home holding a fire hydrant. Yes a fire hydrant.
I gave you a piece of bread to sober you up. You wiped your face off with it and then gave it back to me.
There is booty call etiquette, and he just isn't following it. I'm not making you breakfast, gtfo.
When I picked you up, you were drinking Maker's Mark out of the bottle with a crazy straw.
My boobs are feeling quite sensitive so I told them, " you is smart, you is kind, you is important" that should do the trick.
Would you mind pretending to be lesbians just for like three emails?
Why is there a cash register on top of my car?
60% of the guys I've slept with are on my holiday greeting card mailing list. I'm an amazing ex lover.
I'm going to have to go for it. It's like Mt. Everest. It's large and unpredictable but I live for adventure and it's worth never coming back from. Mt. BigDick.
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
Randomize
