Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
Kicked off drink for Jesus month by puking in my mouth while talking to my priest...real cool
woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
Just got arrested at PF changs. Happy New year, China
I knew shit got real when the pinapple was gone and people were just passing around the core and gnawing on it.
And then you'll find yourself a hot chick and leave me behind with nothing but my back fat to keep me company.
we drunk the bar out of liquor so the guy was selling us bottles of wine for $2a each. Only good thing to come outta this flood
I wish we knew morse code and could knock to each other through the wall
Hypothetical question. Say I was bleeding profusely, close to your house, and needed a place to go to clean up and perform minor surgery on myself. Like now.
I never turn down an adventure. My life is like a sexual Lord of the Rings.
Yeah, I got home from work at like 9:30, and he was passed out on the couch wearing only a tee shirt and The Jurassic Park theme on repeat.
Remember how I have such good luck that it's almost bullshit?
I'm afraid to ask, but go on.
Well you could have stayed home, played house and got blow jobs all weekend babe, but we all have to live with our decision
Good news! Blood’s flowing!
Randomize