Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
Hot mess moment: I just made really spicy guac and picked my nose, which set it on fire. I tried to neti pot it with a coffee pot, which resulted in me gagging and puking all over my bf's bathroom. oopsie.
Literally just stood in the shower and forgot what to do. that hungover.
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
You're going to the beach with me so we can have beach sex whether you like it or not. Get over it. Kthx.
It's 11am on 4/20 and I'm already in urgent care.
Nothing makes me happier than finding out someone else is pregnant and it's not you.
I consider myself to be an upstream bisexual
You're the salmon of the gays...
Medically speaking as your gynecologist and your girlfriend, that is not a rash.
And we're breaking up
Just responding to the most professional request I've ever gotten to get shitfaced.
I'm a grown ass woman, I need to get fucked
My one night stand ended up seeing me the next morning... For my interview. Guess who got a job.
She said my mask was creepy, took it off with her teeth, and proceeded to bite my neck. I love vampires.
dude. i woke up on a random lawn wearing only my boxers, with all my clothes hung in the branches of a nearby tree... no more shrooms
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