Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
Whenever he makes me dinner its always mini things.. cheeseburgers, corndogs.. is he preparing me for something?
i just looked at the calendar to see when spring break is and literally stopped eating
I don't know where I am but there are firefighters
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When sleeping with someone new: should you hide the magnum condoms, or let him know what he has to live up to?
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
We got kicked out after you decided to chase your shot using the soda gun behind the bar.
It's like being the highest you've ever been, then doing about 20 shots, and chasing them with lines of coke. All while laying on the surface of the sun.
DONT EVER DUNK OREOS INTO WINE . NEVER
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The acoustics in my bra are fantastic.
Of the two of us, which one has licked a drag queen's tit in the past 5 days?
Note to self: trying to grow pubes back = worst decision of 2014 thus far
I though he and I knew each other well enough that we could go to my hotel room to do a bunch of cocaine together without their being any homoerotic implications, but NOOOOOOOOO!
AMAZON SELLS SEX SWINGS!
We had a pink drink in honor of my underwear and apparently I made out with our bartender... a few times
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