I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
I started drinking at 10.30am. Ive got a solid buzz, ive decided holidays are to be treated like gamedays
felt a little awkward waiting for my McNuggets after vomiting all over the counter
You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
Do you remember puking up your retainer into the toilet and putting it right back in your mouth?
He ate me out on the kitchen floor while we waited for the cake to bake. How was your Valentines Day?
I'm praying that the company stray cat shows up tomorrow. I think I may have hit it while leaving Friday. Nobody will believe it was an accident after I hit the last one.
What if he turns back to me, finds me seemingly fondling my breasts, and thinks I'm turned on by eagles?
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
also I have no idea whose underpants I'm wearing right now but they're super comfy and I'm not giving them back ever
It's gonna be me and some oreos tonight. Basically like sex
My diet fell off the wagon when I began texting the pizza delivery guy my location on frat row.
I told him I lived in the apartment beside his brother and he said "oh, you're the girl that watches really loud porn!"
When I told the bartender it was my 21st birthday, he looked at me all pissed and said "But you've been drinking here as 21 for the past 2 years.." How do you THINK the night went?
So I take it free shots were a no after that?
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