Believe it's possible to jerk off while watching the food network.
It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
We pinky-swore to never fuck each other again.
I gave ten strangers a full description of his penis and its abilities. I need to stop drinking.
Its official. I've reentered slutty territory. I was a condom away from having sex in a childs playhouse at a park. Oh and I lost my car keys.
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
Where did this racoon skin hat, stop sign and bag full of tacos come from?
Narnia or $5 pitcher night either way
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
Either sorry for fondling you Saturday or thank you for letting me fondle you Saturday.
either i huffed spraypaint or ate out that makeup artist. you decide.
Well his dad is my dentist so they've both been in my mouth.
You were wearing a cookie monster onesie and telling everyone you were actually the sausage monster..
On the bright side I still got laid
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
Yeah I knew you'd like him. He's emotionally and physically self destructive.
We would have so much to talk about!
It's weird having sex with someone you actually like
Randomize
