She is in my trunk
he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
It was the third Sunday in a row that I woke up in his bathtub. So no our sex life isn't that great anymore.
This isnt meant to be as creepy as it sounds, but do you seriously want a lock of the hair I cut off?
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Lil wasted at a baby shower. Here's to beating teen pregnancy BOTTOMS UP
I remember now some guy came over and hit on me and poured peppermint schnapps and chocolate syrup in my mouth. Pretty sure he was dressed like Santa....
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
Why did I wake up with condoms on all my fingers?
Considering the girl you hooked up with, I'd be concerned about not having one on your penis.
She had sex with a starfish painted on her face. Thank you Halloween
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just said "I love my cat" as a hobby.
I'm super depressed and stressed and I just want spaghetti and sex...
You tried to stop drinking but then she started feeding you tequila with a spoon. You were like an adorable baby bird.
If you were to to ask if I just hid 4 shooters or Jameson it my bra and panties the anwer would be yes, yes I did
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
I want to ride that like one of the Horsemen of the Apocalypse- with bourbon in hand and without mercy.
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