She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
why is my new profile picture on Facebook one of me with a bunch of strangers on an elevator?
I feel like he's only with me because no one else would blow him.
remember when I told you about my grandma asking me about my sex scars? Less comfortable than that
Hangover or death. Death. I'll have a slice of death please.
I Can't even believe I threw all my pizza rolls at her, I mean not only did i ruin a good meal but now I dont have anymore
Just picked up an ounce of keif and if it goes to waste before the world ends I'm gonna haunt the shit out of somebody when we all die.
I was gonna start crying but as he was asking me for my info i saw him eyeing my rack. So I sorta started pushing them together. He asked me to get out of the car he made me turn around so he could check me out and then he said and I quote "okay ma'am. Everything is fine, I'm going to let you off with a warning. Next time if you're not wearing yoga pants you might not be as lucky" I am blessed.
It is a bad day indeed when you learn that your boy toy looks better in your dresses than you do
Meanwhile I'm googling glory holes in Vegas
So what did you do since you didn't go out?
...ate chocolate and watched bring it on....it's like I don't even know what it would look like to be straight.
WE'RE MOVING TO IRELAND!!!! DON'T ASK QUESTIONS JUST BOOK THE DAMN FLIGHT!!!!
We took three cabs to get home, the first one dropped us off a block away, so we went back to the hotel and tried again
i wish i could put you in a lil box, and keep you for when i need to be blown
it was the most awkward makeout ever. it was record breaking really
...i feel like you have a lot of those.
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