oh my god i am going to vomit. and little burgers wearing crowns are going to come out.
Just facebooked the guy whose name you're yelling in there. So you're aware, his interests include "swearing at babies" and "Ice luge"
You think they'd ask my permission before turning Pajamarama into an orgy. I saw too many of my friends dicks at once the door got kicked down.
Jessi just used the excuse "it's not you it's me" to get out of getting a lap dance.
I'm just planning on experiencing Disney as adult style as it gets. Drinking bloody mary's at dawn and telling all the kids waiting in lines how badly their future sucks and that Santa isn't real.
There is a glee sing along. It's on random and they know them all. Like, the specific glee timings and pauses. I need to leave. I need to escape
I find it fascinating that she'd be more comfortable with her mom finding out she submits dirty disney confessions on tumblr than about her secret email account she uses to chat with dutch and brazilian strangers.
I'm at a restaurant. I am NOT about to discuss my asshole over the phone.
what are you going as for halloween?
drunk, naked, & emotionally unstable
Hey, taking organic chemistry means no one is allowed to tell you you're partying too hard.
I took a pregnancy test at Pancheros a bit ago.
She caught me by google maps... Lets just say it wasnt her car in front of the house.
He said that we couldn't refer to each other as brother and sister anymore cuz we were in no way related and he would love nothing more than to get naked with me.
I really just gave up on masterbating because I'm too tired. I really am getting old.
so all I remember is hig-fiving the cop and then sprinting away. considering I'm not in jail, I count that as a win.
Randomize
