In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
I wish orgasms lasted as long as the pain from rug burn
It was a rude awakening when I turned on my phone and the first thing I saw was a picture of David's dick with a face on it, I need to stop drinking in his basement...
Doing laundry, just found a knob off your stove in my pants pocket. I don't know.
I'm missing some hair, but it's cool. Breadsticks are done.
Just so were clear I meant the head your face is on
just got home to find my brothers naked on the floor covered in chocolate. i am now nervous about sleeping in the same room as them
Is that a question you really want to ask or do you just want to tell you that I can't walk without feeling like my legs are collapsing underneath me
I didn't know White Castle was open when your sober.
I need a moral compass that doesn't always point to dick
Our first time hooking up was on New Years and we've managed to hook up every holiday since, I'm hoping this lasts until 2016 just to fulfill my American Holiday sex fantasy I never knew I had
Not at all! I'll let your potential employer know you have a huge dick
I offered the opportunity to grope my boobs for pints. Two girls took me up.
I lost all interest the day she banged that guy in the Amazon parking lot. That's a special kinda whore.
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
Randomize
