I got so drunk I pissed the bed last night. He still likes me. He's a keeper
He is a keeper. You on the other hand are not.
it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
hey i know this is weird but does alcohol affect pregnancy tests?
you passed out on the bathroom floor with the door locked. we had to break in and no one was sober enough to move you so they just threw a towel on you and stepped over you
I'm crawling around naked in my room looking for my hairbrush. Just thought I'd put that image in your head.
Were taking tot shots. If toddlers could drink these are the size of shots they would take
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
What's the standard Christmas present for six months of booty calls?
Mobile recharge?
Besides. I don't even really like sex because it feels great. I like it because for thirty minutes I own that guys ass.
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
He called my boobs fluffy. Part sexy part pilsbury dough boy. Part sexy pilsbury dough boy. I'm so confused. And flattered?
There is nothing wrong with watching parks and rec all day then getting blackout drunk by night
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
Randomize
