Do you realize that Last night you pissed in my closet and then walked to the bathroom to wash your hands?
you were almost asleep and mumbling "your penis is on my cheek"
The extent of my physical activity is running from the cops.
thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
The plan is to make enough mistakes this weekend to hold me over until spring break
Turned on my GPS and all that it said in the search bar was "beer,"
Traded my phone for pizza, then got it back this morning....successful night
Also, what is a socially acceptable way to introduce a crossbow in public?
My little brother found me on Instagram. If I'm not already the shame of my family, I'm about to be.
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
Dignity. Ruined. Must. Smoke. Weed.
there's a giant awkward home-wrecking elephant in the room. and its name is meg.
Randomize
