They should make a Rosetta Stone that allows men to understand what the fuck women are actually trying to say.
Friend I haven't seen in almost a year just IMed me to let me know that my mom stuck her boob out the window on the freeway at her.
Her mom responded by mooning my mother. I really don't know what's worse.
she was drinking until 3, woke up at 7, shouted 'I'M STILL DRUNK" and went out for a jog in her thong
You need to tell him your pregnant or we need to stop playing doubles beer-pong. My liver is begging you.
Woke up naked next to Alex and he was braiding my hair and then commented on how healthy my hair was. I don't even know anymore..
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
Don't stress. That was a joke. I'd trust my pets with no one else. Accidents happen. Sometimes things go smoothly when you help a neighbor out and sometimes you electrocute their fish. Life is funny that way.
Mom and I are both drunk and walking around the Strip. It's like the hangover but with a lot more bathroom breaks.
Times have changed. Freshman year I could throw my shirt in a bonfire and still get laid. Now when I puke in my girlfriend's bed on her birthday I'm "an asshole"
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
Haha. I have resting bitch face. He has I want y'all to die face. It's a subtle difference
New guy moved in the apartment next door. He's a combat vet, 6'4", Adonis body and going to med school. My vagina is chewing thru the wall as we speak.
Thought the acid was fake. Then my reflection didn't move when I did in the bathroom.
Don’t drink the Bloody Mary - it’s vodka and salsa.
Randomize
