Did you ever notice the eye of Sauron looks like Lindsay Lohan's vagina?
I just puked in the walgreens aisle buying gatorade and advil for my hangover... i guess i failed
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
Got a minor my first day of college from the bike police. I'm gonna like it here
I like that you use a Disney movie to describe the starting of our BDSM relationship, lmao
I woke up naked in her room. More precisely, I woke up naked in her room with her and her sister laughing at my penis. I hate my life.
I am 95% sure I just heard my cat say "What are you doing home? It's Saturday night."
"They let me see the x-ray. My nose is broken. I saw it. It was cool. Well, I guess it would be cooler if it wasn't my nose."
I'm extremely upset that I wasted my "having sex with a guy at work" card on him
There was a woman who drank mouth wash to get drunk during her supposed detox...this is def the internship for me!
my goldfish that i got the day i lost my virginity just died. im terrified as to what this symbolically means for my sex life
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