At a bar where three women in denim shorts are debating techniques and skillsets for wrangling goats. You stay classy Delaware.
i need gas-x and some way to take back every single thing i did last night.
I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
I cannot stress to you how much better your current situation is than listening to gay sex
He then proceeded to tell me about his enlarged lymph nodes, his"severe" case of blue balls.
The Ex's are trying to talk to the GF. Game face bro.
At a party. It smells like teen pregnancy and sadness in here.
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
Shots. Renamed a guy (he looked like a Scott to me), running, bloody Marys, walk to Safeway, donuts, ride home from someones husband, Nurse Jackie. FIN.
i think i need to institute a "if your dick has been in my mouth this year i get a xmas present" policy
I've already come to terms that I'm gonna have to bone a few gross librarians, but hey, it's college
I found her face down on the kitchen floor asking anybody who walked by for Kraft Dinner
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
i think i passed out for a few seconds while we were having sex but he didnt notice...
We're going to watch the inauguration and fuck. Or fuck and watch the inauguration, I'm not picky, just get your ass over here by ten.
Randomize
