did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
Slut skills are useful in every country.
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
Why did you put hummus in my pillow case?
Im in a bar and I just invented a scrabble drinking game. People are cheering. It's like the universe has aligned itself.
he built a boat made of joints. holyyy shit
Is that you who's passed out on my treadmill?
The mystery gender stripper never showed up with that party burrito last night.
Oh my god. I just realized something amazing. If I get pregnant with a boy, that technically means I have a penis right??????
This costume is too restrictive. The priest and I cannot get it on while I am wearing it.
My mom just gave me my fake back to buy her more wine.
I used to think not drinking while I was pregnant was not gonna be a problem, but I now I'm like shit that's a long time
The more I piece together last night the more I want to vomit it out of my brain.
Not gonna lie, Wednesday was the perfect day to get laid off, all I've done since is watch the Simpsons marathon
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
Randomize
