Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
I seriously need to stop naming my lingerie sets after the boys I wear them for. I seriously just asked mom if she put Brett in the dryer
just got passed by a van of kids watching the little mermaid. debating speeding so i can watch
Didn't u have court just yesterday for ur driving?
IT'S THE LITTLE MERMAID! totally worth another year of probation
The kid next to me is typing a powerpoint presentation.. title: Reasons to Wear a Condom, subtitle: The Ian Story
The first slide was titled: You Could Get a Girl Pregnant.
did you seriously make the punch out of vodka and food coloring
Hahaha alright after 5 shots I'm not allowed to touch glass or boys with girlfriends.
Apparently william has a "couch montage"...an album of facebook photos of himself on different couches in various states of happiness and despair. A heartwrenching journey through what was clearly a significant part of his life. I'd mock him more but I think the fact that I looked through it means he's already won
You're the only person that can successfully use titties and Jesus in the same sentence.
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
I feel like Jeremy snapchattong while we're fucking is a perfect example of our generation..
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
Imma do four shots of whisky within two minutes and pass out. Otherwise this'll go badly.
Also I’m on 3%. Just Incase.. I miss you and I love you and you’re my everything and I’m getting drunk.
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
Well I just masturbated while reading a recipe for Alfredo sauce so I guess you could say I’m growing up
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