I could write a book on how to barely get by in community college. I just took an online quiz on my phone, at the bar, 6 minutes before it was due.
Why did you come into my room last night at 3am and pour monopoly money on me while you were crying?
For only eating leftover pizza for breakfast today, you sure do have a lot to vomit up...
Me and him getting it in is for special occasions only. Like Christmas and when they bring the McRib back.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
Every time I someone I meet again from that wedding it turns into the "Oh your the guy who puked in the hallway and passed out in front of the elevator."
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
I think I will always strangely appreciate as well as kick ass at stoned dishes. Like for the rest of my life. Thank you slave job at Starbucks.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She shoved a hot dog in my pocket and started grinding on it.
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
We should try to put a bagel on your penis
I just shaved my pubes into a heart shape. if that doesn't scream romantic idk what does
I almost stopped mid bj to let him know I appreciated his balls being nice to look at/have my face near. But I didn't know if that would ruin, or improve the moment.
A condom was pulled out of your vagina by a doctor today I do not think you can pull off "closet" hoe anymore
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