New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
I'm beginning to think I'm sterile because I definitely should be pregnant by now.
Cancel that soberness update. I just almost fell down in the security line
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
omg i met someone at the bar who sells hair feathers. that are long. saved in my phone as "haiirs deather"
No. And Marissa said shitting in the handicap bathroom at work does not get you into the club. You have to shit yourself. She said.
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
If you're not going to call the girls I bring around by name, at least don't call them by number. It's been cockblocking since girl #47. Dick.
Koalas always seemed like really high little puppy kittens to me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
these are times I'm glad I'm Jewish because the Torah is just like "drink, eat, and fuck"
"Nobody needs to know that I have a vibrating butt plug and nobody needs to know that I'm probably gonna start wearing it at work"
Last night when I blacked out, I ate Chef Boyardee. I never want to be that drunk ever, ever again.
Did you actually just quote Ace Ventura during a sext!?
You know it
Dammit now I have to marry you
He sent me a website link to GIF on Snapchat. I don’t think he understands how Social Media works.
....even the bartender was embarrassed for her
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