oh and i feel obligated to inform you that there will be no sexin' because it's 'lady time' for me. so this ain't a booty call.
Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
He was legit dry humping me to the sportscenter theme song, awkward i think SO.
The only thing better than Call of Duty is getting jerked off while playing Call of Duty.
I offered to buy ihop waffles for all the homeless people outside the metro. It was time to go to bed.
Best oral ever, hands down so to speak. but I'm starting to want to meet that lesbian truck driver he says he's better than. Just for comparison purposes of course.
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
So I had sex in a bulldozer lastnight now that's definitely a first...
The spirit of America is being too hungover to celebrate America right?
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.
Our friendship just got weirder. He snapchated me the porn he was watching.
We're listening to drake in the middle of the woods and smoking two joints at once...my life is complete.
also, I think I lit my hair on fire when I got home..
I wish he’d realize all I want is dick. He’s my boytoy. He’s a stunt cock. \n\nCome over, fuck me silly, eat some leftovers, fuck me again, then go back to the frat house
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