he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
I will forever be haunted by the image of you hurrying to finish your Jimmy Johns sandwich in the Taco Bell drive thru so you could proceed to order $17 dollars worth of shitty Mexican food.
I'm sports announcer narrating myself making a sandwich. Your weed wins.
I used that money i stole from the stripper last night to pay for my date tonight.
I'm using the bullet from my cock ring to massage out my tmj lock jaw from giving too much head.
when I said energy drinks I meant cocaine
I was the girl at the bar last night passing out free condoms and making sure everyone knew how to use them to keep the population down
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
Its like I've been given a sexual blank check.
Dude, i just watched a drag queen dropkick a motherfucker. this is a good night.
my ex logged me out of his netflix so im gonna fuck his bestfriend as revenge
This lady is talking to me and all I can think about is getting face fucked and doing cocaine. Not neccesarily together and not neccesarily in that order
Randomize
