I dont ever wanna see you tell my little brother to "spread the seed" ever again
Her gag reflex was as absent as a father figure must have been in her childhood
mmmm my 21st bday fucking sucks all my best friends are pregnant...selfish assholes. they just couldnt wait til after my bday.
I got so many pubes stuck in her braces that when she yanked her head, I cried out like that one girl you "accidentally" rear-ended last week. Bald spots are battle scars.
I'm in the library if you wanna come give me library head.
He gave me the "I've pictured you while jerkin off" look
Well, McDonalds 'escorted' me out after I passed out mid-order
Who faxed a picture of their penis to the office printer?!
When i'm home next we need to get baked and go to waffle house. I want to see if the waitress can still guess my intoxication level and what i'm about to order before i even make it to the table.
This is three metal detector wands away from being the strangest porn I have ever been in the audience for.
I want to be the sort of person he can respect in the morning once the drugs wear off.
i think the last part kind of negates the first part there
I think the worst was the guy who sent me YouTube videos about how age doesn't matter, and then a link for natural breast enhancements. Kill me.
After we banged he volunteered to ducksit while I went to work. I think that's true love.
I was covered in mud from my knees down, I smelt like the inside of a port-a-potty and only had mascara on one eye. . . so you know your usual Sunday brunch.
Imagine we only get one cock for the rest of your life. I’d pick his dick. That good!
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