Her gag reflex was as absent as a father figure must have been in her childhood
he kept saying "mind over matter" as he fucked me
I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice.
Upon further investigation it turns out it wasn't blood, but chocolate frosting from the cupcake I shoved in my pocket to "save for later"
2 men making out for 2 seconds to trick a cop so they don't get arrested for being pulled over rolling a blunt is not gay.
He walked away from the girl that just blew him to hook up with another girl, and when she got pissed he just turned around and screamed, "SHE IS LIKE 10X HOTTER THAN YOU!" Then she went on an angry dick sucking rampage. There were 4 victims.
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
it's just weird to think of you as a teacher since ive seen you throw up raspberry bacardi in my parents house
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
I just sneezed and margarita mix and ash came out of my nose. I love jersey
When he was going down on me I referred to him as "Lord Snow" and HE GOT IT. HE GOT THE GAME OF THRONES REFERENCE. I AM IN LOVE
Oh and it took quite a bit of doing, but I managed to wipe my butt with the hat you left in my car
We banged in my car doggy style with my head out the window. The sky was marvelous and I saw a shooting star. Its destiny; we're meant to fuck forever.
Whats a polite way to say 'if you havent put on a freshman 15 i would like to see you during break'?
We had everything under control until this one jackass fucked up. Thanks, Peter.
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