I'm at his house. He has VELCRO shoes. I'm too desperate to leave...I may need help in thee life dept
her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
Canada: barely better than America at a sport they invented.
OH GOD PAJAMAS ARE SUCH A HARD CONCEPT RIGHT NOW
Only way we know if he truly fits in is if we spill straight vodka on the floor and his first instinctnis to lick it up. Otherwise, gameover.
He just showed up to brunch with one shoe and only the battery from his phone.
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
The cops spotted my on my walk of shame down the boardwalk and gave me a ride home. I'm starting to make a name for myself here.
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
After finding out he was married when we were together, I don't trust him.
You know it's a bad cold when sneezing feels better than orgasming...
I made him dinner in just his cowboy hat and my boots after we did it...you should see his face :)
It's fucking 2020, I should be able to watch Netflix in the buff while making brownies without you getting preachy about it.
I think I accidentally got a sugar daddy but I was already planning on sleeping with him so I’m going to see where this goes
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