these 2 russian guys walked past me and i got freaked out because i thought call of duty got real
All was going smooth until he pulled a condom out of his collection he kept in a Cheesy Gordita Crunch Box from Taco Bell.
I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
Dont worry about the blood on the pillow. its from my face.
We decided to play beer pong where the loser had to beer bong a pitcher of beer...people just started losing on purpose. It was a bad idea.
Old lady caught me peeing in the street and yelled at me and said "I REBUKE YOU"
after i talked him through a bulleted list of why we couldn't have sex he just said "but it would be fun...."
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
You know you are 86'd from the legacy right? You can't down shots then spike the shot glass
Pretty sure I have a sex related back injury. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.
You kept sayin "its alright, I'm pre-med" to everything we said. EVERYTHING.
we have beer and we're watching the birds have sex in our yard.
Randomize
