HOLD UP I think she only has eight fingers...
If I had KNOWN you and mom were coming to visit, I wouldn't have passed out in the frat. This is why I hate surprises.
If you hear screaming in the middle of the night, bat got loose. Call poison control immediately and explain rabies
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
its 2pm. u awake yet?
ill text u back later. still peeling fingernail polish off my face.
I had to help him get his zipper down in front of his dad so he could pee in the bushes. That Is what moonshine does to you.
I think I might be harboring a Canadian in my womb.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
woke up and somehow me leather belt got torn in half. either we partied with the hulk or some chick just could not wait to see my dick. probably the former tho
I just heard your voicemail. Glad you like my dick and think I'm cool
I have poison ivy and a broken finger. Don't have a threesome in the woods.
The moment buddy the elf found out he was human is exactly like the moment I realized I was gay
It's very disconcerting to wake up and she is gone. I never know where she could be. It's like playing wheres Waldo but Waldo could potentially be drunk and wandering around in weird places that normal Waldo's don't go.
I deserve a medal for being woke up at 6am on my day off by your mother asking where your brother is
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