I dont ever wanna see you tell my little brother to "spread the seed" ever again
Oh i know my limit. 9 shots after i've given blood.
Like reprimanding the wall for "sneaking up on me" drunk
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
I am planning my day around naps and lesbians.
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
If you're staying here tonight, you need to promise me you won't make another bonfire in the lounge room. My girl is still pissed about that.
Look bro I'll go half per boob with you, we split her.
Me: 10% human, 90% poor drunken life choices.
He signed my ass with a Waffle House pen.
So now I know what having sex while surrounded by chickens feels like.
What, so now you are his nutritionist and his fuck buddy?
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
You were so drunk last night that you fell thru the bathroom door at the bar, ripping it off the hinges in the process. But, your birthday tiara stayed on thru the whole thing. I'd call it a succcessful evening. Happy birthday kiddo!
Randomize
