I wanna passion pit in your ass
you texted me last night and told me you couldn't find the toilet.
That explains the puddle of pee in my closet.
whenever I think of his sister, I just picture a chick with a huge beard
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just sold a bong and some oregano to fifth graders for sixty dollars. doing something tonight?
Weed smoke burps in the boss's face. Job security.
Apparently "he pulled out..mostly" is not a valid reason for thinking there's no way i can be pregnant to the nurses at the student health center.
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
Let's turn this shoulder dislocation into a positive. Come to the hospital, bring some beers, let's party.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No. I want to vom filet mignon and ziti bits everywhere and my body feels like I ran a cock triathalon. I feel less triumphant and more like death.
To be fair I went my whole first week without showing up to work drunk!
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
PS: bike ride of shame at 7am includes riding by kids waiting for the school bus #classy
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
When you called me I said did you make it home. You said yeah. Then you said you didn't know where you were. I said you were at home and you said but where. I said you are in the bathroom. Then you said oh, you're so smart lol