you drank a bottle of vodka and then while throwing up in my toilet you kept reminding me our hs reunion was in 2 yrs and it was time to start getting thin again anyway
I don't think I have ever puked up that much free breakfast in my life...thank god for Nickle Beers.
I think "I actually like giving blow jobs better" qualifies her as a keeper
By this time tomorrow I expect us to be sitting at the kitchen table either playing a drinking game, or crying. Set an alarm
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
They were loudly fucking last night and there was way too much conversation involved. It wasn't even dirty talk, it was more like "your doing it wrong" talk
smoked some of that legal weed last night, felt like God himself legit bent me over his knee and spanked my ass. Never again..never.
I'm sitting in the breakroom facing a very large sign that says "inappropriate workplace behaviors", and i can't help but feel like it is directed at me
God if that man would just have sex with me every time I got mad life would be so much easier...
I'm prostituting myself for tickets to Disney World. There's a contradiction there.
If walking through the neighborhood with a bottle of tequila and margarita mix is postgrad life, I'm okay with it
He just told me I was beautiful, whilst I peed into a cup. If this isn't love I don't know what is.
I passed out while searching "symptoms of narcolepsy"...
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
Randomize
