My sheets at my parents place are clean. No braveheart but I can paint myself, yell "freedom", and sword fight you with my cock. So come over.
i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
i thought i was pinching her nipple. It was her mole
My flask crushed my baggie full of aderall in my backpack, why can't my demons just live together in peace
I STRONGLY considered not bringing that guy home with me last night simply because I'd JUST changed my sheets that morning.
remind me to get a blood sugar test this week. I'm pretty sure I'm a mojito away from diabetes.
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
I'm on my way to bail our sister out of jail with our mother's credit card. How old are we??
I got a lap dance last night from a girl while I was wearing a Captian America onsie. My life does not suck.
I mean I did fuck her boyfriend, the least I could do is post happy birthday on her Facebook wall.
When he was leaving this morning he said I'll text you later on and I replied with if you don't that's cool too.
I have no idea, I usually just project my awkwardness out like a mating call until it draws other awkward members of the opposite sex out from the bushes
Can I come over and get it in, take a nap in ur bed, grab some poptarts and then leave?
You haven't lost that air of class about you...
I really love you. Like, more than tequila...& we both know that's my favorite.
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