She said her name was "party"
she just made me lysol my hands in order to touch her tits.
So when we opened his headboard we found a bottle of crisco sitting on top of his porn magazines.
I guess we all know what he was cookin.
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The walk of shame out of a freshman dorm isn't so bad when you're 25, nobody questions you because they think youre gonna bust them for having weed
I'll start choreographing the sperm rain dance now
Whatever dude, just dont tell her your first impression was she looked like your cousin. no judgement here. just sayin.
Your stoned with a 2 year old in the room....and that makes you want to have babies?!
Seriously, fuck work.
uh yea I'm curled up in the trunk of my car
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Please tell me how the stripper got back to Sarah's from the trailer park
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
Jesus christ. I put you on speaker when you called me last night and you told me to brush my teeth with a dick.
I JUST WANTED TO GET SOME MOTHER FUCKING TACOS I AM SINGLE AS FUCK TACOS BRING PREOPLE TOGETHER OKAY
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
I went next door to get a can opener from them. They opened the door shirtless, asked me if I wanted to a smoke a joint with them. Then decided to make blueberry smoothies. But the yogurt in the blender & the berries, got confused when the berries blended into the yogurt and just kept adding more. Only stopped when we ran out of berries.
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