dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
Guy at red light looking at porn. I'm waiting for him to look over at me so I can shake my head and he can feel bad
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
Hey it happens. Think of it this way- you didn't wake up in jail, your face wasn't inexplicably busted and you still have all your teeth. In this group of friends, you're on top!
Just ate tuna on a frozen waffle because we were out of bread.
This is why you don't have nice things.
In the middle of me riding him, he stopped me and said "You're the kind of person who would be restrained for being obnoxiously drunk on an airplane, huh?"
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
50% drunk capacity currently
you can't get cum all over my hair and then tell me you just want to be friends
You're either getting fucked or a coupon to Friendly's. I haven't decided yet.
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
This is getting exciting. I almost wanna turn off all the lights, get some popcorn, and stare at my phone screen to see if she's going to say yes or not
And on a much sadder note, I'm way to drunk for this right now
Yeah but now he has a wife. It’s going to be different this year
So what. We’ve banged every Thanksgiving since high school. She just has to understand it’s a holiday tradition
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