dude, she masturbates with a ken doll.
He got so drunk that he tried hitting on a girl using nothing but his Samuel L. Jackson soundboard application on his Iphone
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
He wore my sunglasses on his honeymoon..... so there's that.
will i regret this in the morrning? probably. but every decision is good during happy hour
I wore water proof eyeliner just incase the first picture of me of 2012 is a mugshot
I'm ok. I've got the pantsless-with-dignity thing down pat
I told her my blood type was O Positive and we started making out. Bio majors are weird.
SINCE WHEN WAS USING A FROZEN WATER BOTTLE ATTACHED TO A ROPE AS A THROWING WEAPON A GOOD IDEA??
Those boxers don't belong to me anymore. They belong to the desert surrounding Phoenix.
The sex was so good I feel like I could run a triathlon, hit big at the casino, and defeat ISIS.
We are best friends because we can vomit simultaneously in the same toilet and not care
The adults are the big ones right?
Greetings from Florida; the armpit of the US, where my 240something lb brother nearly got carried away by some aggressive woodland mosquitoes. I was only spared because they could probably sense I was currently semi-disassociating and would not feel the suffering their presence wrought.
Anyway, how was your day?
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