Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
I love how you send me nude pics of girls you're fucking and name them by which city they're in instead of their name. "This is Nashville, this is Tupelo, this is Jackson..."
And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
i'm sending her a home depot gift card for the hole i put in her wall. call it good?
To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
really keith? you showed me your dick and your not gonna text me back
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
I can't find the keys to get out of my front door, there are random socks in my bicycle basket and I can see a plastic handle of cheap vodka sitting on my porch. oh, and my head just broke u with me.
You slow clapped the stripper last night.
You rang?
Saw a ginger and the first thing I thought of doing was yelling "you have no soul!" so I called you so we can yell it together with you on speakerphone.
You better be making out with him cause we're sitting here with this awkward british girl watching videos of goats singing maroon five
i refuse to sex anyone who doesn't get my lord of the rings references. no exceptions.
I've only fucked to 2 Fleetwood Mac songs, that must be why my life feels so empty.
He hit me up on Grindr and called me "bro." I just have to assume that the sex is going to be bad.
You carved your initals into all my vitamins and said "now a small part of me will be in you every morning" before you fell asleep with my thong on your head.
Randomize
