the fair has chocolate covered bacon...impossible is nothing.
I woke up naked in my own vomit. Not even in my bed. No one is happy.
Whatever you do to me, stop, I found yet another blonde hair in my asshole.
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
well in DOG beers, i've only had one
I am far too hungover to deal with the fact I can hear you masturbating in the bathroom.
I made people serenade her before talking to her and went on a condom run. If I'm going to be in the friend zone, I'm going to be its fucking king.
we told the drug dealer that our car was dead and we needed a jump so he would bring the drugs to us...
The only difference between us and a pack of 14 year old girls is substance abuse
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Besides you're a Tennessee fan and it'd be against my religion to have your penis inside me today.
Walgreens has pop rocks. Be prepared to get your dick sucked.
Just cried watching Wimbledon, worst comedown ever.
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
Is texting an old booty call with "can you still get your ankles behind your ears?" an appropriate way to reemerge into the singles scene???
Randomize