I actually just cleaned easy glide lube off my desk. My life has gone way down hill since I met you.
We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
It's mornings like this that make me happy to have a clean pair of underwear in my purse.
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
you really dont want me to drink and drive. you saw what i did to my face and that was only from walking
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
Two bottles of champagne and half a pizza later, I'm crying myself to tears watching The Nanny. Happy finals week.
I don't know if it's lucky or if it really just makes my tits look THAT good, but I've never NOT gotten laid with this bra on
we went from five shot glasses to three in one night. we lost 'badass' and gumbi, but the ninja turtle survived. courtney says to avoid any more casualties we're not allowed to use shot glasses past 1am. and we're not allowed to throw them
Well that's the first time I've woken up with wet jorts
I got a charlie horse in my ass while masturbating. We are never been going to that boot camp again.
Whoever jacked off in MY pong room on the bean bag with your fucking googles pick up your fucking cum towel you gross disgusting fucks. I said NO MORE jacking off in that room. I swear I will empty it out if this is going to continue.
Just got thrown out of the club for making condom water balloons. I'm not ashamed.
Just because you can't have him, doesn't mean you can have his brother.
What about the best friend?
My hands smell like vagina and ham.
Randomize
