ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
Yeah you fell over while you were peeing and you said "hold I'm, I'm still peeing"
You stole a frozen pizza from the freezer, stuffed it in the back of your shirt then proceeded to leave the party.
And some old guy told me Jesus loves me and I laughed super hard and told him sinning is fun. Hahaha
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
I began mixing captain Morgan and jack daniels and called it captain jack sparrow. I puked. a lot.
I really dont wanna go to a traffic light party. I have nothing red to pretend I'm taken with. Without something red my "my girlfriend is away in the mines" story wont work.
dude there's a blind guy on the trail using his service dog to hit on girls.
Is "I am going to murder you if you keep sending me requests that I cannot fulfill" unprofesh?
Every FB picture she has looks like it's from the POV of the guy she's blowing
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
2016 is coming through for me, I'm renaming it the year of great dick
This town is a penis wasteland. I haven't seen a suitable penis in months. This is becoming an emergency situation. I need penis in my life
I just opened my travel toothbrush holder and it smelled like vodka...maybe a vodka cranberry. This says a lot about my vacations.
I trusted a fart in Toronto. NEVER TRUST A FART IN TORONTO.
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