he called me "his little blueberry cunt muffin"...how would that make you feel?
I kept waking up & seeing my Goodfellas poster and thinking it was a window with people crammed against it staring at me.
I guess the lighting in my room made it look like they were moving. I remember telling myself that they were watching over me and protecting me from the cops
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
I don't even know where to begin....there's queso sauce and public hair stuck to everything
let's just say if he has a penis and he hypothetically needs to put it somewhere... i would take care of that for him.
She texted me shhh....im drunk, secret booty call...how could i say no?
Are we still banned from the library?
Someone got day drunk, but I'm not saying who.
It was me.
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
I LEAVE YOU TWO ALONE FOR 45 MINUTES AND ALL MY WHIPPED CREAM AND CONDOMS ARE GONE
Christopher Columbus didn't sail the ocean blue so I would have to go to class and not have sex with my boyfriend
i just got banned from the m&m's website for trying to get poon slayer written on my custom order
My uber driver just told me I smell like fun...still drunk at 7 am
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
It's like those toothpaste commercials where 4 out of 5 dentists would recommend your vagina
Randomize
