she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
don't worry. When rigor sets in, we'll make sure to get you laid one last time.
So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
this is a mass text to all the people i smoke weed with. I have Mono, so if we've shared a bong/pipe. sorry man.
I have more bruises, scratches, and overall soreness from my birthday weekend than my car accident.
I'm drinking carlo rossi straight from the jug. I don't have any clean cups...how am I still at this point in my life...
I was carrying him baywatch style into my place because he passed out.
Shrimp lo Mein doused in green apple Smirnoff is a rare delicacy only a few get to experience..guess I should consider myself lucky
Apparently, my drunken 3AM idea of safety is to send a GPS map of my location to someone 700 miles away. Seriously considering death as a viable alternative to this hangover. Death or Yuengling.
i thought you were just a really comfy body pillow until i sobered up. oops.
It's like I'm getting a welcome home parade with sex!
Cocaine is ok on a cleanse, right?
I think I met my butt stuff soulmate
My feet surprised me
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