Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man
In The Air Tonight was playing in the dentist's office. Had to stop the cleaner to do the drums.
She challenged me to a game of rock-paper-scissors for her virginity. I love this girl.
even the AIR tastes like tequila.
I tried to bribe him with road head and his toothbrush.
Ive never seen him vulnerable before. He just had surgery and looked so cute on his crutches. like a little baby bird with a broken wing. that i wanted to nurse back to health. with my vagina
Bud light lime after 12 shots of vladdy is like frolickin in a meadow of sweet flavor
her vagina just converted me to Judaism.
Hey, you remember years ago when you told me you would give me a kidney?
When you're looking for your panties tomorrow, you traded them for a blunt on the train.
So is the trick to long distance communication to be drunk during phone conversations?
I'm more heavily invested in that tequila than you are
my vagina can't handle any more of our 4 day long smash bash. it should be like a holiday or something. should only happen once a year.
So, I woke up under a table with an alarm clock on my face, my hair in a bag of popcorn, and my phone charger wrapped around me.. what happened?
so on the street and some kid is chanting "cheeseburger, cheeseburger, cheeseburger!" while pumping his fist in the air. i agree.
Randomize
