there's paper in my vomit.
Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
It's amazing how much better one feels once you put something in your vagina.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
You may have noticed the broken smoke detector and melted carpet. We may have accidentally lit a ping pong ball on fire...I'm sorry, but we did our best.
Threesome in a minivan. New low
the intervention consisted of my aunt taking me to chuck-e-cheezs and telling me that this was my future - either as a mom or as a waitress - unless i stopped fucking around.
did she buy you pizza?
scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
8===D
That's the bat signal to come over and fuck me.
I'm spending tomorrow with her. What should my ridiculous personal goal be? I've already got a blowjob while eating a cupcake
I just woke up on an unfamiliar floor, my shoes are gone, my suits covered in red lipstick and chocolate, and Im wearing sunglasses that say "Maid of Honor".God damnit I love this country.
Just drink your champagne out of a trophy like a fuckin winner
You have not lived until you've slid down a waterfall fucked out of your mind. Fact.
I'm hungover from the 8pm vodka and still drunk from the 5am beer.
Randomize