I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
Could you please tell me why If you were a 21 year old man why you would want to sleep with a girl who has tinkerbell bedding?
o shit let me call u back theres a hamburger in my pocket
Sex on a trampoline was so worth getting a mosquito bite on my penis
this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
She calls her new ritual "bed, bath, and beyond crunk". Hence why I found her passed out in my bath tub this morning.
he's drinking at 8 in the morning. it's going to be one of those "or else the terrorists have won" kinda days
there is laundry and salad ALL OVER my car, i need context
I feel like if Miami and New Jersey fucked each other and produced a baby that would summarize the bar I'm in.
He rolled up to the party in an ice cream truck. He was definitely my first priority
I just spent a solid 3 minutes trying to figure out how to send a smell through my phone
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
I'm using her Instagram as a way to know where in town she is so I can avoid her lol
I should be rewarded with oreos for not turning into a raging cunt.
It figures that the only time one of my videos on Snapchat gets replayed is a video of my Hedonism Bot impression and NOT my nudes
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