If you're really into hairy Serbian chicks, Cleveland has a lot to offer(216): We're going to cougar night, the serbian chicks are the best aged.
were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
She was sleeping without a shirt so I thought I wouldI sneaked a peek at her nipples..than I realized they were just warts...on her back.
Dude a guy just showed up with alcohol and a bag of double cheese burgers. I think I found my future husband.
We raised our shot glasses and you screamed out "TO MY DAD FINALLY GOING TO REHAB!"
The dog threw up again, this time IN the toilet. I've taught him well.
I'm paying a homeless guy $20 to follow me around bars tonight with a boombox playing the theme to Rocky.
Just found a pic on my phone of you on squatting on the hood of a police car about to take a dump. Care to explain what happened last night?
Just paid off my possession ticket on 4/20. Helloooo awesome.
It isn't possible and the very mindfuck of that concept gives me a lady boner.
I'm just gonna eat nachos and wine fruit forever.
So it's ironically funny that my psychiatrist's office and my cocaine dealer's house are on the same street
I don't think my professor is going to remember the Halloween party... or the fact that he made out with a priest.
…wtf were in those pills mom gave me
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