why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
There is a half eaten corn dog and soy sauce on the counter... WTF did you eat last night??
Turns out Woolite can get the cum stains out of her moms couch.
Accidentally spilled a drink on her roommates skirt, offered to clean it, and got a blowjob out of the deal. Something went horribly right.
Just found my bra in a bag of chips on the kayak floating about the pond. Sure sign of a good night
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
Apparently I was so drunk I threw my entire wallet at the stripper on stage. That was the third time I should've gotten kicked out.
When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
honestly dont worry about it, its not the first time ive injured myself on a potted cactus during sexual relations with a woman
Just had an oven catch fire while I was balls deep. Fire department came, I did not.
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
Good News: There was a condom on the floor. Bad News: It was still in the wrapper
you were screaming "I don't need a shirt!" repeatedly while in the process of taking it off and flashing the bouncer. we got kicked out. thanks a lot.
What the hell was that?
Genius. It was sheer genius.
Randomize
