hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
By the end of the second bowl I was making sound effects to every hand movement he made.
Yes, she gives me platonic blowjobs as part of our friendship.
Ok so in the last 18 months I have now driven four different dudes into counseling. I'm like heroin with a vagina.
I'm just a little drunk right now and I have to work at 3
Omg sara
I ran out of milk and it's hot and I was thirsty
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
Worrying about "What smells like cat pee?" is so much easier than worrying about "What am I doing with my life?"
Just left a strip club where they let me on stage to teach them tricks. Time of my life!
That moment when the line ‘If you want a hot body you better work bitch’ in Britney Spears’ new song comes on as you’re using two forks to shovel enchilada into your mouth.
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
The morning after your company Xmas party and that moment you're eating a block of cheese in bed wearing a sequin blazer and recalling all the details of your one night stand with a coworker who happened to start that day...fuck.
I'm too horny to sleep. I need some violent sex to wind me down.
Let me call you later. I’m lining up some office dick now that working at home is ending
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