remember that night we drank a bottle of vodka and went to mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu, twice?
we can't do that now- first b/c they got rid of that menu and 2 b/c we are broke now. damn this recession.
of course. lets lasso hookers.
we gave some random guy a shot for shoveling our sidewalk.
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
My TA just came over to give us drugs. Now he's drinking grey goose with my roommate and explaining his thesis to her. This is too much.
My bed became a clown car for his family....I'm not ready to get married
I'm just pissed at the whore who takes over my body when I'm blacked out.
Somebody really needs to come home and pick up the used condom from the middle of the wood room floor. It's blue, if that helps decide who comes - uh, home.
You said "bag of dicks" before passing out and falling off the landing
Oh god... Please tell me Sarah didn't see me like this
...you may have kinda punched her in the tit on the way down...
It was weird, because he kept shaking his head like he was motorboating me...but on my vagina.
Lets just say...I plan on being a bigger shitshow than Miley Cyrus at the VMA'S
So none of you told me my tits were popping out of my shirt for three hours?
We told you. Repeatedly. You said you made it look good.
Curing hangovers with more alcohol was a great idea for the first five days
woke up on my floor using my jeans i wore out as a pillow
haha i wouldn't expect any less of you
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